Monday, May 07, 2007

The blues

I think I'm having one of those quarter-life crises, though to be honest I have no intention of living till I'm 128 so it's more likely a third-life crisis or thereabouts.

I've just stared at my computer screen for over an hour with one ear pricked like a cat to hear if anyone is walking towards my office. When they do, I start clickety-clicking on my keyboard and looking harassed. The trouble with my staring and fake typing is that I am really flippin busy and doing nothing doesn't seem to be helping that in any way. I'm also about a sneeze away from a full-blown sobbing meltdown and I think the staring is helping to keep that at bay but I'm not entirely convinced. There's a good chance I will cry all the way home tonight…again.

So what's wrong with me?

I hate my job, nay my career and everything it stands for. I want desperately to curl up under my doona and sleep my life away because the simple act of getting up every morning is making me physically sick. I KNOW that there are billions of people out there who make my life look like a big chocolate cake of fun and goodness but they don't have a blog and, well I do and no-one reads my blog anyway so I will keep going with this whine.

Advertising. I work in advertising and it's not glamorous or fun. There are no parties or freebies or hot sex with a married account director in the boardroom. It's full of people who are the epitome of a four-letter C word and let me tell you it's not 'coke'. Ten years ago I would have looked at future-me with awe and said 'sister, you are the shit! You have totally gone and done everything you said you would' and now I would slap 22 year old me really, really hard and tell her to write that novel she promised herself, even if it meant continuing to schlep coffee to assholes. Dammit where did the last 10 years go?

I've just booked myself in to see a career psychologist who will give me advice and put me on the path to freedom, starting with freeing me of $500. I think it's a step in the right direction though because I am feeling a little lost. There are other contributing factors but I'll save that for another day and another whine. I think I'm going to send myself a little reminder note.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Catch up

In the five months since I posted:

- My sister finished chemo and has had 2 clear scans
- I moved in with my lovely boyfriend who probably should have a pseudonym but I'll get back to that
- I was on a gameshow that was rigged (damn you Eddie Maguire!!!) and I won and then lost $6.5K
- I started a new job, loved it, hated it, liked it, hated it, figured I could stay until I got knocked up, hated it and...yep still hating it and so far have been unable to convince the boy to knock me up
- I turned 32
- I watched a lot of shit TV
- I didn't start my novel and nor did I complete any of the ones I have already started

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Spelling Nazi

I love Will Smith. Years ago at the Ali premiere in Melbourne I was lucky enough to be sitting across the aisle from him and he actually stayed for the whole movie which was surprising. Don't ask me what the movie was like because I was too busy watching Will - watching Will.

Anyway, that aside, I have a bone to pick.

His new movie is called 'The pursuit of happyness'. I know it's not his fault but OMG!! every time I see it I get pissed off that Hollywood is plastering our bus shelters with poor spelling. Yes, yes I know it's deliberate - his character is probably dyslexic or something - but half the flipping English-speaking world already have spelling issues and most of them aren't going to see this movie to know that it's deliberate. Instead they will carry on in their happy-go-lucky phonetic spelling ways, texting utter gibberish and relying on Microsoft to get them through school.

Rant not over yet.

Today I was in a perfume store and all the shopgirls had aprons on with the cheery message 'its beginning to look a lot like Christmas'. Tomorrow you may see a news story about a girl attacking said shopgirls with a texta filling in the missing apostrophe. Who hits 'print' on that shit? Doesn't anyone check???

To break it down one last time. If you are abbreviating 'it is' you use the apostrophe (it's). If not then leave it alone.

Rant over...for now.

Even Google agrees.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Please allow me to be a little bit indulgent and talk about something that possibly no one else is interested in but this is my blog so...suck it up.

I went to the Kylie concert last night in Melbourne grasping my $140 ticket that said 24th May 2005 on it because that was the original date of her show and then (well we all know what happened).

It was a Monday night. I've got a cold and I was running around like an idiot all day so I couldn't really be bothered with the whole concert thing...but when she came out I actually had to fight back tears.

I realised last night that I've been going to Kylie concerts for nearly 20 years which makes me old but makes her older and she absolutely RAWKED! What a comeback...what an amazing woman and what the hell were those costumes about??

About 6 weeks ago my sister got diagnosed with lymphoma. She was sitting next to me with her little bald head under a hat and scarf. She's got about 6 weeks of treatment left and then she's got to pull her shit together and start a new life. I hope that Kylie inspired her last night. If she can do a tenth of what Kylie has done since treatment, she'll kick ass.

So thanks for coming back and finishing what you started Kylie. The costumes were dubious and, let's face it so are some of your older songs, but I loved them then and I love them now for all their cheesy gay-anthem glory. You are gorgeous and I truly wish you all the best.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

job hopper


I just resigned from my job.

Ironically my stars for today pretty much say everything I was going to...

"The world is really not very well organised. Governments are a fiasco. Large corporations, a cavalcade of incompetence and inefficiency. Small enterprises? A belt and braces tale of success that's more by luck than judgement. Families? Charities? It makes no difference. Wherever two or more people are caught up in a situation that requires a degree of intelligent co-operation, sooner or later there is bound to be chaos. Fix what can be fixed today. As for what can't be fixed? Live with it"

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Matthew McConaughey put a flippin shirt on! OK, we get it, you're hot and you have a great body. The problem is that down here in Melbourne, there are horribly pasty, flabby guys ready to throw their shirts the minute the sun comes out - you, Matthew McConaughey, have made that cool - made it OK but it's not. So, for the love of God and my retinas, stop it unless you're at the beach or the pool. Clubs, bars, cafes and supermarkets do not count!